Most children settle into nursery within two to four weeks, and tears at drop-off are a normal part of that process. You can make it easier with a short, warm goodbye, a steady routine and a close partnership with the teachers. This guide shares what we see every year with children aged 2 to 5 at Kawkab Al-Tifl Al-Hurr in Al Faisaliyyah, Jeddah.
Why children cry at the door
Crying at drop-off is rarely a sign that a child is unhappy at nursery. It usually means the child has formed a strong bond with you and finds the separation hard. Many children stop crying within minutes of the parent leaving and then play happily. The goodbye is the hardest part; the day is often fine.
Before the first day
- Visit together. A tour and a short stay in the room make the place familiar.
- Meet the teacher. A child who has seen a friendly face before day one feels safer.
- Adjust the routine gently. Move wake-up and meal times towards the nursery schedule during the week before. Our morning runs Sunday to Thursday, 8:00 AM to 1:00 PM.
- Talk and read about it. Picture books about starting nursery help children imagine what will happen.
- Practise short separations. A morning with a relative is good rehearsal.
The goodbye ritual
A short, predictable goodbye works better than a long one. Choose a simple routine: a hug, a phrase such as "I will see you after lunch", a wave at the door, and then go. Do not sneak away, since a child who sees you disappear may become more anxious. Do not return if the child cries; coming back teaches that crying changes the outcome and makes tomorrow harder.
What teachers do to help
Teachers in a Montessori room welcome each child by name, offer a calm, engaging activity and stay close to anyone who needs comfort. A child who is upset is not hurried; they are held, spoken to quietly and gently drawn towards a task. Purposeful work such as pouring or matching often helps a child settle because concentration is soothing. If you want to know what a calm morning looks like, see our preschool guide.
What is normal in the first weeks
- Week one: excitement, tears or quiet watching. Many children are tired in the afternoon.
- Week two: a dip is common. The novelty fades and the child realises nursery will happen again tomorrow.
- Weeks three and four: the routine settles. Children begin to greet teachers and friends and to show you what they made.
- At home: clinginess, early waking or a small change in appetite for a short time.
When to talk to the teacher
Speak to the teacher if your child is still very distressed after several weeks, is not eating or sleeping well, or seems withdrawn at home. Teachers can adjust the plan, such as starting with shorter days, and you can use the parent app and messages to stay in touch through the day. We share photos and updates so you can see how your child is doing.
Ten practical tips
- Arrive at the same time each day.
- Keep mornings calm, with clothes and bag ready the night before.
- Send a small comfort item if your child has one.
- Pack simple clothes your child can manage with a little help.
- Keep goodbyes short and cheerful.
- Ask the teacher for a quick update, not a long debrief, at pick-up.
- Avoid asking "Did you cry?" and ask "What did you play with?" instead.
- Keep weekends and evenings calm and rested.
- Be consistent: attending regularly helps more than occasional days.
- Be patient with yourself. Parents often find the first weeks harder than children do.
If you are still choosing a nursery, our guide to nursery for a 2-year-old in Jeddah covers readiness signs and what Pre-KG offers. To visit and meet the teachers, message us on WhatsApp. Tours run Sunday to Thursday between 10:00 AM and 12:00 PM.